METAL MADNESS AND A DICKLESS PIECE OF SHIT

On Thursday, four metal bands descended upon Myrtle and, to paraphrase Parliament, "did it to us in our ear holes."

Gojira + Machine Head + Trivium + Lamb of God = "What? I can't hear you! I went to a metal show last night and my ears are still ringing! What? Hell Yeah, it kicked ass! Oh, you want me to stop yelling? Sure!"

All of the bands were phenomenal, but this isn't so much about the concert overall as a specific instance.

My favorite part was, without a doubt, Robb Flynn's intro to the Machine Head song "Aesthetics of Hate." If you're averse to profanity, here's where it gets hairy.

When Pantera's Dimebag Darrell was murdered in '04, crazy, wild-eyed, bad-ass, fucking-brutal metalheads the world over sat down, put their heads in their hands, and cried like small children. The same people you would suspect of having no concept of empathy or humanity were emotional wrecks for days on end, sometimes weeks. Hell, even now, over two years later, we all still get misty when anyone even mentions his name.

However, as Flynn would make abundantly clear, there were others who seemed to relish in the death of another human being and, in doing so, gravely insulted millions of people all over the world.

Just after Dime was killed, some low-life, scumbag, shite-cunt called William E. Grim, from an equally-scumbaggy conservative website, Iconoclast, wrote an article entitled "Aesthetics of Hate: R.I.P. Dimebag Abbott, Goodbye & Good Riddance."

Grim's pathetic ramblings (in a copied form) can be found here (along with a good rebuttal); I can find little else about the article except for reactions against it.

He says early on, "I in no way want to engage in a blaming the victim scenario," then proceeds to do exactly that! He blames the "depravity, ugliness and ignorance of everything that heavy metal represents" for the murder, not, say, the fact that the murderer was a mentally ill psychopath.

So, tell me one thing, Oh-Grand-High-Bitch-Ass-Poobah Grim, would you say the same for John Lennon? Huh, fuck face? How about Marvin Gaye? Are you going to play the same stupid game for classic rock and R&B? Obviously, he only does so when it involves musicians and fans of a genre of music (by the way, he "cannot use the noble term music in a description of heavy metal") that he doesn't particularly like.

The most egregious lapse of common sense and human decency, however, comes with this passage...

"It was highly amusing, and also terribly sad, to watch on television fans conducting a "vigil" for the slain Mr. Abbott outside of the Alrosa Villa. It was an assemblage of ignorant, semi-human barbarians who were filthy in attire and manner, intellectually incoherent and above all else, hideously ugly to the point of physical deformity. Here is a definite case in which the outer appearance of these "fans" accurately represented the hideousness of their souls. That the physical deformity of their ugliness was self-inflicted makes the spiritual tragedy of their misspent lives all the more tragic."

Wow. I mean, just, wow. That another human being can look upon his fellows as such is, to me, simply staggering. I'm sure little Grimmy's mother once told him, "don't judge a book by it's cover," but obviously, Grim is either too stupid or hate-filled to even comprehend such a thing.

If Grim were to meet me on the street, he would have no idea. Cargo pants, nice black shoes, a plain t-shirt, short hair; he would consider me, most likely, "a nice young man." If he talked to me, he'd likely think that I was loquacious but articulate. If he were to read my (formal) writing, he'd likely say that I was a well-educated man.

Of course, if he caught me listening to, say, Cannibal Corpse, he'd automatically think, well, everything he said in the quoted passage. That, my friends, is the very definition of a jackass douchebag.

Forget the fact that most metalheads are only "metalheads" at a show. Forget the fact that they hold regular jobs, raise families, and contribute just as much to our society as some prick conservative hacks I could name. In Grim's microscopically narrow view, "heavy metal = bad" and fuck-all to any mitigating circumstances.

Oh, but Grim isn't done yet, not by far. Now he wants to show you just how ignorant he really is by blasting Dime...

"He was an ignorant, barbaric, untalented possessor of a guitar and large amplifier system. Freakish in appearance, more simian than human, he was the performer of a type of "entertainment" that can be likened only to a gorilla on PCP. Lacking subtlety, wit, style, emotional range and anything approaching even the smallest iota of intellectual or musical interest, Mr. Abbott was part of a generation that has confused sputum with art and involuntary reflex actions with emotion."

Sweet. Fucking. Jesus. Remember, Grim is (supposedly) a homo sapien. How this man was intelligent enough to ever survive, much less put his native grunts and screeches into human speech, is far, far beyond me. And, of course, you know the spineless taint never would've written such a thing if Dime was able to defend himself.

William Grim, you are not a human. You are not an animal. You are neither plant nor mineral. You are, as far as any intelligent, moral person is concerned, below sub-atomic.

You are not worthy to be part of the aerial flotsam of dust and dead skin cells that floats through the air. You embarrass leeches and lampreys. If you were to fall into raw sewage, you would repel it as water does oil. You would make a compost heap gag.

When you depart this world, maggots and worms will refuse to feast on your corpse for fear of passing on your horrid, diseased life-force to their offspring. And, if your god exists, you will stand before him and, when he looks at you, he will be ashamed that he ever allowed such as yourself to be counted among his creation.

The words you wrote about your fellow humans should be remembered for posterity and taught to young children everywhere as a cautionary tale against proudly abject and wanton ignorance, profound stupidity, and blind hatred.

For his crimes, William Grim has moved to the top of my "List of People I'd Sooner Chop in the Throat Than Look At." And, let me tell you, folks, it takes a lot to knock Fred Phelps down a rank.

Robb Flynn and Machine Head even wrote a song called "Aesthetics of Hate," and they dedicated it to the tragic death of "Dimebag" Darrell Abbott and the tragic birth of William Grim.

Adding further insult to injury, Grim only used Dime's death and the fans' mourning to launch off into a typical "evil leftist" screed.

In closing, kudos to Machine Head, and all the other bands and metalheads, for carrying on Dime's legacy by continuing to make and appreciate good music. Double kudos to Flynn for calling out and savaging Grim's ill-conceived and cold-hearted rant.

And, Grim? Sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, I can only say, "Fuck you up the ass with a concrete dildo. Sideways. Twice."

Flynn's initial reaction to Dime's death (and several examples of what a nice guy he really was) can be found here. By doing a Google search for "Dimebag," you can find many other examples from fans and musicians alike.