TRIPLE DOSE (PRIMUS SUCKS!)

Goddamn computers.

Something went wonky with the Church's Official Online Manifestation over the weekend. Like always, the Rev. Jenner J. Hull did everything in his meager power to correct the error, finally got pissed off when nothing worked, gave up, and decided to check out the situation today. Of course, now everything's kosher, like there was never a problem. Typical...

Anyway, since we've gone a full few days with nary a mention of the Groove or the Funk, we're going to make up for our involuntary procrastination with a Triple Dose of one of the Rev. Jenner J. Hull's all-time favorite bands.

Way back in 1991, a young Southern boy raised primarily on oldies and beach music discovered the soundtrack to the seminal 90's slacker sequel, "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey." In between the hair metal (Slaughter's "Shout it Out") and the kind of metal that makes stupid people think that all Metalheads worship the Devil (Megadeth's "Go to Hell"), Primus' "Tommy the Cat," with a mind-blowing bass line and Les Claypool's country-fried vocals, stood out like a bright, burning, beacon of bad-ass.

Ever since, Primus and all Claypool related projects (except for Oysterhead) have enjoyed a hallowed place in the Rev. Jenner J. Hull's music-obsessed heart.

Here are three of the Grooviest Primus tracks with their appropriate video links.

Primus - "Tommy the Cat" (From "Sailing the Seas of Cheese")

Since it was one of the first rock songs I came to truly love, "Tommy the Cat" will forever be one of my favorite Cuts. Honestly, I didn't even know what those weird looking, extra-long, four-string git-fiddles were for until I heard Les Claypool work one over like he was a fucking mob enforcer. And, not to speak ill of Bill and Ted, but I find it hard to believe that anyone could beat Primus in a battle of the bands.

Primus - "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" (From the DVD with the album "Animals Should Not Try to Act Like People")

By the by, the "Animals Should Not Try to Act Like People" album has a DVD with every Primus video ever made and some select live performances; it comes highly recommended. Primus' cover of the Charlie Daniels Band's "The Devil Went Down to Georgia" is good but not phenomenal, except for the awesome and creepy "a band of demons joined in" part of the song (the intersection of bluegrass and metal is something I've always loved hearing). The video is exceptionally good, though, especially if you love claymation.

Primus - "Mr. Krinkle" (From "Pork Soda")

Any song with a stand-up bass, cello, or any similar large, deep stringed instrument is automatically better than one without; if Les Claypool is the man beside said instrument, the odds are the song is going to kick a plethora of asses. This Cut is awesome, but the video for "Mr. Krinkle" is sheer, ca-reepy perfection. All I have to say is, "Don't let the kids watch it before bedtime."